The ceiling
You hold everyone. Who sharpens you?
You’ve figured out most of it. Your group holds. Men come back. The hard moments get handled.
Most of that came from experience and instinct, earned the slow way. What it didn’t come with is anyone at your level to test it against. The better you get at this work, the fewer men there are who understand it.
01
A peer who runs a room as well as you do, and will tell you the truth about yours.
02
Someone to compare notes with on a retreat design before you run it.
03
A second opinion on the hardest man in your group, from a man who has held one too.
04
A place where your method is a contribution, not a secret you have to guard.
05
A way for what you’ve learned to outlast your group.
The stakes
The ancient institutions that made men are gone.
The cost
Too many men are struggling.
The men you lead belong to a generation in trouble, and the numbers are not subtle.
Men die by suicide at four times the rate of women.
Of men have no close friends at all. In 1990 it was 3%.
Children live with their mother only, double the share in 1968.
The same pattern, in nature
Dan Russell · Founder
A letter from the founder
Why we’re building this
Introducing Fathom House
One House. One Table.
Fathom House is a peer fellowship of the men who lead men’s groups best, from every tradition: coaches and therapists, ceremony leaders and ministers, entrepreneurs who run a circle on the side, and men who started one and have kept it strong for years.
It isn’t a method, a curriculum or a certification. Nobody here will tell you how to run your group; you already know. It’s the room next door to yours, where the other men who do this work at your level gather to trade what works, bring the cases worth the attention of a room this good, and sharpen each other.
You bring your experience. You leave with theirs.
The three commitments
Different methods, different traditions, one table.
We share. We don’t dictate.
What we learn becomes the Chart, credited to the man who found it.
Request a founding spot
How it works
Once a month, we gather.
Ninety minutes
Online
Monthly
8 to 12 leaders
Ninety minutes, online, with leaders from across the country, and eventually, around the world. Every gathering follows the same shape, so you always know what you’re walking into:
A sample evening. The founding table sets the final shape.
Between gatherings, the Chart and the fellowship are there when you need them, and in-person events are on the horizon.
Request a seat at the first gathering
By request · No cost to founders
The House Rules
Four rules make it safe to share.
Even among men who serve the same communities.
Every member signs them.
In the room: “I can raise the tide on this one.”
In the room: “That’s in my vault.”
In the room: “This stays in the room.”
In the room: “Every tradition has a seat here.”
Surface · The Chart begins
The Start
Finding men in your community
Gaining Depth
Hosting the first meeting
Even Deeper
Holding a retreat
Rock Bottom
Sitting with a man in his darkest hour
What a Chart entry looks like
The practice
What works, in his words
Contributed by
The man who brought it
Teachers and training
Where it comes from
Sounded
The date it was shared
The Chart
Every lesson was learned by a man who went first.
Sailors once charted the sea’s depths, measured in fathoms, so that those who came after could navigate safely.
Our members are building the Chart: the best practices for leading men, from running a first meeting to holding a retreat to sitting with a man in his darkest hour. Each entry is contributed by a member and credited by name to him and to the teachers it came from.
The founding table takes the first soundings. Over the years, the Chart becomes the map for any man who wants to lead men well, and a body of work with your name in it.
What changes
What you carry back.
Our work is in service to you, which, through you, is in service to your men.
Peers at your depth.
Men who understand the work because they do it too.
A sharper edge.
New tools, techniques and resources every month, from leaders in traditions you’d never otherwise sit with.
Other men’s best work.
Proven designs for calls, retreats and one-on-ones, so your effort goes to the parts only you can do.
A room of your own.
Somewhere you’re held, not holding.
Your name on the Chart.
Credit for what you’ve built, shared on your terms.
A seat at the first table.
The founding members finish the House Rules, take the first soundings on the Chart, and set the standard for everyone who follows.
Put your name on the Chart
By request · No cost to founders
Who it’s for
Is this your table?
You belong here if…
This isn’t your table if…
—
you haven’t started a group yet (that table comes later; this one is for the men already leading)
—
you’re looking for a certification, or a curriculum to follow
—
you want to recruit other men’s members into your tradition
Questions
Fair questions, straight answers.
01
My group already works. Why would I need this?
02
Will I have to give away my method?
03
My tradition is very different. Will I fit?
04
Is this a certification or a training program?
05
Is this spiritual or religious?
06
How much time does it take?
07
What does it cost?
08
Who runs it?
09
Is there an in-person element?
The invitation
The founding table is forming.
We’re starting small: 8 to 12 of the best facilitators we can find, who will finish the House Rules together, take the first soundings on the Chart, and set the tone for what Fathom House becomes.
Founding spots are by request, and they’re not paid. What we ask instead is that you bring your best, show up, and help build something the men who come after us can stand on.
If you lead a room men trust, tell us about it.
A request for a founding seat
8 to 12 founding seats · By request · No cost to founders
We read every request personally. Expect a reply within 24 hours, not an autoresponder.